Tonight, I wanted to go out. A long weekend lingers in my thoughts. I’ve been working, but the idea of taking time for myself keeps pulling at me.

Starting a company at 41, I can tell you this: the hustle is real, and sometimes it feels like it’s been a lifetime. Long weekends don’t really exist. Still, I find myself slipping into heels and heading out to dine. That’s where standing in your power comes in or should I say dining in your power.

You might think my armor is a little black dress. But the truth is, my real armor runs deeper. It’s not made of cloth; it’s been forged in cast iron, the cast iron of a kettlebell, to be exact.

In 8.5 years, I didn’t just build a business; I built me.

Dining alone used to terrify me. I don’t mean grabbing takeout in jeans and a tee. I mean dressing up, putting on heels, and walking into a restaurant where most people, I assume, will think you’ve been stood up—or that you’re still waiting on someone who’s never coming.

I walk into the restaurant. I can hear my heels clicking against the hard floor, my heartbeat echoing with them. The room feels muffled in my ears. For a moment, my mind flashes back to swinging a 30 lb bell for rep number 350. I remember thinking, I’ve got this, quickly followed by, I’m going to die, why did I say I’d do this again?

Walking into a restaurant dressed to the nines feels the same. I’m going to die, why did I say I was going to do this?

Eat. Swallow. Don’t think about everyone watching, whispering, wondering. Then my mind returns to the mats, to the reps, reminding me: I do hard things. This is no different.

I remind myself: if someone really is concerned about me dining alone, bless their soul. They must have bandwidth to spare. Most of the time, strangers don’t even notice us, and if they do, it’s only for a split second. Hate to break it to you, but we’re not living rent-free in other people’s minds.

Every rep, you think it’s just building muscle so you can lose weight, fit the jeans, rock the dress. But the truth? If you stick with the cast iron, it brings you back home to yourself.

It creates a relationship within you—even if it’s one you’ve never had before. Every bead of sweat, every curse word whispered under your breath in the middle of a hard lift, it’s all building power inside you.

Power that lets you walk into life, and into a restaurant, with confidence.

I won’t lie; dining alone still pulls me back sometimes. But that’s why I remind you: cement the reps into your brain and your body. So, when doubt creeps in, you know deep down, I’ve been down this road before. I know what I can do.

Tips for your first solo date night:

• Sleep first, quality rest affects emotions.
• Find an outfit that makes you feel great.
• Start with appetizers; it doesn’t have to be a full-course meal.
• Try to stay off your phone and sit in the experience.
• Journal it, how did you feel getting ready, during, and after? Was it what you expected?

You get one lifetime to experience and create a solid relationship with yourself. This is both an exercise and an experience that will give you growth. It helps bring you into your power, from one rep to one savored taste of self-awareness and strength.