Attaining life balance seems like this never-ending road, and actually, it’s because it is. We all crave balance but finding it feels like trying to stand in the middle of a seesaw and hope a breeze doesn’t even go by. It’s unrealistic, and then we fall into the trap of beating ourselves up because we failed again. Or we get stressed about being stressed. Rather than continuing to seek this never-ending ideal of balance, perhaps instead we begin to discover what a little more moderation feels like.
In yoga, we refer to this as brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is about retaining our energy so we can then use it appropriately. Rather than trying to burn the candles at both ends and then suffering from burnout for weeks afterwards, try instead to keep a bit more harmony within each day, with the intention of never too much nor too little. Sure, this sounds easy on paper, but how do we navigate this under the pressures of work and deadlines, taking care of our family, and then trying to fit our own self-care in as well? A big part of it involves setting up boundaries.
Whenever people used to talk to me about boundaries, my back would always go up. Almost like it was my fault that I ended up in this mess (essentially burned out again) and I needed to be more forceful with those around me. But that’s not quite it. Establishing boundaries can also be about you taking charge of your own schedule based on what you value, a balance between what you want to do and what needs to be done.
Even this morning, I’m under a deadline to complete this article, but Tuesday mornings are also our community socials at the tennis club. Playing tennis has nothing to do with my career as a yoga teacher and author. I don’t necessarily need it to stay fit because of my teaching schedule. But I love it! It’s one of my favourite parts of my week. The energy boost that I get from that one hour of tennis, smack in the middle of the morning, sustains me all day. I have a million things to get done today, this article being one of them, and yet that one hour of tennis this morning is a non-negotiable for me, and I’m going to be happier all day today because I went.
Remember I said creating harmony in your schedule between what you want to do and what you need to do? The thing is, you need to do the things that build up your energy, not just the ones that deplete it. If work is extra busy and hectic, counter that with a walk outside at the beginning or end of the day. Choose a Yin or Restorative yoga session over something more intense. If your days aren’t busy enough, take on a creative project or build in more social time by volunteering. This constant flip-flop, though, of too much and then not doing anything at all, is only going to continue to hurt you and those around you, cancelling plans, low mood, stress headaches, etc.
Brahmacharya is a yoga practice. A practice. Something we might not master, but that needs to be at the forefront of our minds. Work hard, play hard may have worked in our twenties or thirties, but it just doesn’t have the lasting power we need as we get older. If feeling more balanced is something you have been struggling with, here is where you can start. Open up a brand-new, untouched calendar page. Fill in what you have to do that can’t be moved, such as work hours and appointments. Next, outside of the calendar page, write out what you want to do, such as your self-care practices, exercise, social time with friends, or quiet time alone. You might not be able to squeeze in all of it, but where can you fit even 30 minutes each day? Your calendar may look fuller than ever, but hopefully, it also brings a little inspiration to you as well.
The things you can look forward to can change the outlook on your week, so it is no longer depleted by all the things you have to do, but also includes what is going to build you up as well.
