Baby, there’s time. So let’s make the most of our bodies.

Media products from mildly risqué TV and film to pornography often depict sex as a sudden, rushed and fulfilling experience. Not so realistic for the average woman who needs at least 30 minutes of foreplay to completely relax into the mood. Thankfully, the slow-food, slow-TV, slow-everything movement is spilling over into the sex world as well. 

Slow down and explore each of these areas of your partner with lips, fingers or anything else you desire. Gentle, sweeping motions awakens the nerve endings in the skin and can send shivers throughout the body. Avoid heading to the obvious hotspots right away. These need to be warmed up before you can access their full potential.

Neck
An oldie but a goodie, in many cultures the neck is considered one of the sexiest places on a woman. Especially if you or your partner is an office worker, it’s the perfect place to start the full-body relaxation. Grasp your partner’s shoulders and, using your thumbs, massage the tight muscles around the neck and shoulders using slow circular motions. Use your body weight to lean in to your partner, this will keep your thumbs from getting too tired and will allow you to reach deeper muscles. There’s no bigger turn-on than someone relieving your headache!

Sacrum
On the lower back, right above the butt, is a secret trove of nerve endings that connect to the genitals deep inside. There are acupressure points hidden all around this area, too. To trigger them, massage the little dips around this bone with the heels of your hands and your finger tips. Bonus: If you push down gently on this area for more than 30 seconds, it can relieve pain from menstrual cramps, sciatica and general aches.

Solar plexus
Close but not too close. The solar plexus is a sacred and sensitive area. Besides teasing your partner by coming, oh, so close to the chest, the solar plexus is a good place to go because it often gets overlooked. Place your hand on the small dip in your partner’s chest and feel their breath flow in and out. 

Inner thigh
Another teasing zone, the thighs are filled with nerve endings so gentle is the key word here. Wide palms or soft fingers are the best tools to use in this area as it can bruise easily. 

The mind
The mind is perhaps the most important pleasure spot of all. Feeling safe, respected and loved is foundational to a pleasurable sexual experience. Making the time you spend with your partner about the journey, not the destination, takes the pressure off all participants to perform. Slow and steady—just enjoy!

More Inspiration: You might also enjoy this article on the best supplements for sex and sleep.

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