How to be true to yourself

I’M sitting on my living room floor, eyes closed, trying to clear my thoughts. I am just coming out of a really bad year. My father has died, my health is failing, my business has failed and to cap it all off, my marriage has ended.

I’m angry at the world. My life sucks. A litany of complaints plays in my head. “Why doesn’t somebody fix the broken sidewalk in front of my townhouse, my life, the world?”

I breathe deeply and my mind finally settles. A crystal-clear thought emerges: “I am somebody!”

I resist the thought. “These are not my problems,” my mind insists.

“I’m somebody,” my mind repeats.

“It’s not the world’s job to fix my life. My job is to improve the world.”

My heart stops. I weep.

In that moment I know, without a doubt, that like so many others, I am the one the world is waiting for. I can live a life of complaint, or a life of action to create a better world.

Since this moment 14 years ago, my life has changed dramatically. I now travel the globe speaking and exploring. The main lessons I’ve learned?

ONE: Balance is key
It sounds cliché, but one key to transforming my life was finding balance among career, parenting, play, life and spirituality. Health is a manifestation of everything working in your life. If something is wrong with your physical health, your body is a signal for what’s incomplete or broken in those areas.

There is growing research that we hold stress in our bodies. If you have disease, you need to look where your life lacks ease. Have you been driving yourself too hard or do you have incomplete trauma or relationship break- downs from the past? For me, health came out of finding that balance.

TWO: Live the life you want your kids to live

Fourteen years ago, I was not the woman whose life I would want to have my daughters emulate. Together we created a family bucket list and made a pact to become champions of each other’s dreams. We have kayaked off the Baja Peninsula, counted the steps on the Eiffel Tower and climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa together. Don’t wait. Soon enough your kids will be teenagers and your biggest challenge will be scheduling.

THREE You can’t fake authenticity
(so don’t even try!)
Authenticity is something that is frequently talked about these days, though few people define it. Here’s my definition: Authenticity is your inner voice saying the same thing as your outer voice. If you’re not passionate about your life, you are showing up inauthentic everywhere. One of the reasons I wrote my book Mass Influence: The Habits of the Highly Influential, was to help people get in touch with their passion for creating a better world for their children. The biggest barrier to your influence is your mindset—what your inner voice tells you in moments of discomfort or stress. This is at the root of “The Law of Attraction.”

When your emotional state is positive and passionate, people are drawn to you and want to help you. When you are inwardly focused on your own pain, boredom or fear, people are not drawn to you and they experience you as fake.

When you’re clear about why you do what you do (in my case, I want to influence change), the more you’re driven by your compelling rea- son, and the easier you can influence others. To me, there is nothing more authentic than that. And it’s the key to living a kick ass life.

More Inspiration: You might also enjoy this article on 5 easy steps to boost your self-confidence!