Letting Go

As part of my ‘letting go’ process (letting go of my old fitness ‘self’ and routine/teaching), I decided to finally try yoga.  I have always believed in the benefits of yoga, but never thought of it as being very ‘me’.   I was busy with sports training and teaching kickbox – that was who I was.   Since that type of training is over, I felt it was time to branch outside myself.

But even though I signed up and paid, I found it difficult to fit it into my routine and even dreaded going.  I went to one class in my package of six.  For the next three weeks, I made up various excuses as to why I couldn’t go.  Becoming someone different in fitness wasn’t proving to be easy for me.

Finally, last week, I geared myself up to go.  I was a fitness pro, I thought. I could master anything to do with fitness.  After all, ultimately, you are just lying on a mat!  With this slightly arrogant and naive mindset, I showed up to class.  Wow – was I ever fooled!

Yoga ain’t easy!  While I wasn’t doing aggressive sports drills, the demanding poses made me sweat just as much.  So, there I was, considering myself a fitness expert, yet struggling to maintain proper alignment and form.  And the whole ‘just lying on a mat’ thing?  Well, concentrating on breathing and letting my mind go was hard work too.

To push me further out of my fitness comfort zone, the next day I got the official word that I’ve been removed from the instructor list at Nubody’s/Goodlife (I occasionally sub, but not enough now to be considered front line staff anymore).   Then, I learned that the Nubody’s newsletter – and thus my monthly column – is being canceled in September.  I’ve being hanging on to my fitness ‘career’ by threads – I knew it was just a matter of time before it was totally ripped.  Yet, the ripping of those final threads still burn my heart.

But life is continually full of cross roads that we sometimes don’t want to take.  So we try to avoid these cross roads by taking short cuts or pretending we don’t see them.  But eventually, we end up back at that same cross road.  That’s because things sometimes change whether we want them to or not.

And sometimes, we are forced to let go whether we are ready to or not.  There’s only two options then: embrace it and walk down the new path feeling excited about what could be up ahead, or put our heads down in fear and be dragged.  Either way, you are going down that new road.

Are you at a cross roads?  What attitude will you choose to take?

Me?  I have to accept that the time has come to really try other fitness workouts because the old ones aren’t going to come back.   And, it might be time to leave the dream of working in the industry behind.  Regardless, it’s necessary for me to be positive and open minded about what comes next – both inside the gym and outside of it.

One thing that hopefully won’t change  – whether I work in the industry or not – is my passion for fitness.  I’ll never stop endorsing fitness and all the positive things it can bring to one’s life.

There’s always new parts of one’s personality to be discovered – you just have to be brave enough to look.  With that in mind, I think I’ll sign up for six more yoga classes…


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