An interview with Amy Goldberg
Best known for her groundbreaking role as Carol on F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Jane Sibbett has never been one to shy away from bold choices—on screen or in life. An actor, director, writer, photographer, and source conduit, she has spent decades redefining what it means to step into one’s truth. From navigating Hollywood’s bright lights to answering a deeper spiritual calling, Jane’s journey has been one of transformation, courage, and unwavering authenticity.
While her portrayal of Ross’s ex-wife sparked conversations about LGBTQ+ representation in the ’90s, it also came with backlash—something Jane met with grace and conviction. Today, she continues to use her voice to uplift women, embrace the power of storytelling, and foster healing in ways that go far beyond entertainment.
I was excited to have had the opportunity to learn more from this remarkable woman, where Jane opened up about breaking barriers, the evolution of her voice, and the importance of standing in one’s power.
ON WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT & VOICE
You’ve worn many hats—actor, director, writer, photographer, and source conduit. How do these roles intersect in empowering women and amplifying their voices?
Most people in the arts have a whole collection of hats.
My primary hat is a bit of sorting hat. In Harry Potter, it sorted the students to different houses or focus, so if we see the main hat of it all is my muse—we have love. Love for truth, depth, joy, and our journey in the strength and vulnerability of being in the center of love. As an actor, my body as an instrument translates the truth of the moment for my heart’s character. As a director, I protect and shape the space with the performers to translate truths living in each moment or piece of the whole. As a writer, I work hard to listen to life and transcribe the most potent truths of spirit. The same is true with capturing a frame of a single moment in photography. In this moment, I see hope. In this moment, I see courage. At this moment, I make an offering to the muse of another inviting you to feel your truth or ask questions. When we speak the truth through our art and open to relationship with audience, it invites other women to raise their own hearts and voices to do the same.
What do you believe is the most significant barrier women face today in fully stepping into their power?
It’s easy to say that the most significant barrier for women to step into their power fully is fear—fear of being judged or shamed. Fear of being seen, fear of being judged after being seen. To an extent, that’s true, but in the 32 years I’ve been facilitating women’s circles, while all of that may have a part, the greater component may be that few have even been invited to or cultivated safe spaces for meaningful, nonjudgmental conversation with themselves or one another. One-to-one mentorship is helpful and generally limited, but the wisdom of a circle experience centered around supportive, mindful, truthful expression has been the most essential education for me, my dearest friends, and our daughters (and sons, too.)
As someone who has navigated Hollywood and beyond, how has your own voice evolved over time?
Despite being shy for most of my life, I’ve had a blessed career of 40+ years with extraordinary opportunities. It isn’t lost on me for a moment that being raised by a powerhouse of a mother who was a vivacious, vocal, and socially gracious woman was a gift. My mentor at UCLA was another tremendous mentor of wisdom and support, but always through this same lens of loving truth. I can’t say I’ve always stood up for myself. Sometimes I’ve stifled my voice to assuage male counterparts to get the shot, get the scene, and finish the project. But because I had a remarkable example working for Marta Kauffman on Friends, while simultaneously shooting another comedy series, I eventually stood up for myself (on the other series), told producers I couldn’t abide by the bad behavior of the lead (I was second banana), and I wanted out of my contract. I had the highest benchmark of how to collaborate while working as “Carol” on Friends. From Friends onward, I aspired to bring that kind of generous team spirit to every production—film, TV, stage, or streamed—because when everyone is given a chance to participate in making it (scene or life) as good as it can be, everyone succeeds.
In what ways do you hope to inspire and uplift women through your creative and spiritual work?
I aspire to a world where every woman is able to be in her healthy truth, her joy, and the center of what she most loves. If we all live our passions for the best and highest good of one and all individually and collectively (as I say with each and every dance of the Source gift that courses through me), then, my goddess, what a world it would be. There is nothing more glorious than people living through their hearts, for goodness sakes.
If you could offer one piece of advice to women struggling to embrace their own truth, what would it be?
I have a magnet on my fridge. “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” Read it again. See it. Feel it. And do that thing. Life is so very short. Did you come all this way here at this exact moment to live your dream, or did you come all this way here at this precise moment to curl up and always wish you had done the dream? Be brave. Go for it and see the wonder and potential bliss of living your dream(s) out loud.
ON F.R.I.E.N.D.S, BACKLASH & CULTURAL SHIFTS
Your character on F.R.I.E.N.D.S was groundbreaking at the time. How did it feel to be part of a storyline that challenged societal norms?
It’s so strange to think back to that time. How I felt about it then is worlds apart from how I feel about it now.
After season two, on behalf of Friends and our storyline, I received an award (from PFLAG, I think, but I will double check that fact), an organization supporting, educating, and advocating for gay and lesbian families and the people who love them. The emcee introducing me before the enormous gala audience, shared what a huge impact our same-sex relationship not only had been on his own children but on people everywhere. He said, “If I’d seen Carol and Susan on television when I was growing up, I might not have tried to commit suicide so many times.” I could hardly walk with the tears as I made my way to the microphone. I didn’t understand until then how truly naïve I’d been in my little west-coast bubble. Representation is vital. To this day, I receive notes from all around the world telling me how much our storyline (even 30 years later, in reruns and streaming) means to them. People often tell me how they used our storyline to help open up the conversation with their families, parents, or friends. Recently, someone I met overseas tried to tell me how much it meant to her and her community, but she could only cry, much like I did when I realized what it meant to the emcee of PLFAG and his family. It’s vital for us all to share all the stories of love and perseverance for love.
Were you surprised by the backlash your character received, and how did you personally navigate that?
Yes and no. After we shot “The One with the Lesbian Wedding” at the end of 1995, and it aired in January 1996, there was a flurry of press. I was on a popular US talk show where the host had me take questions or comments from the audience, and I had to go toe to toe with some big-time hating-me-but-bible-thumping folks who sadly had not learned about historical context or mistranslation from Greek or Aramaic to clear-hearted Christian. Then, there was a woman with whom I had been a camp counselor when helping with the youth group at my old church in Hollywood—she called me up under the auspices of writing an article on me. Then she proceeded in some twisted Christian costume drama way to tell me I’d burn in hell for playing Carol. I still recall the color of my snow-white carpet that I tugged on as I tried to keep my patience willing her to wake up. I honestly had no idea it would even be a thing that some affiliates would not air our episode. It felt so insanely immature that others didn’t understand that love is love and that committed love should always be celebrated. I felt even more impassioned that we need to have real conversations about fear, love, and being who we truly are.
Looking back, how do you think representation of LGBTQ+ relationships in media has evolved?
I looked at this on GLAAD’s site https://glaad.org/sri/2024/vito-russo-test/ to check the stats, but this is only tracking from 2023 and back. Sadly, with the war on …well, just about everything diverse in my country’s current administration, I’m deeply worried about the impact on the film and television industry’s representation and the overall mental health of a society whose fringiest madness is not aligned with the beauty of love’s most truthful representation. Good thing that the world’s audiences are actually much more open (87% supportive) than a radical view will have you believe, so we will continue to support and watch the full rainbow of representation in media.
I love the letters I continue to get from straight women who say that the way that Carol and Ross are in their post-divorce dynamic is how they’ve chosen to be, too—amicable and loving. See? After all these years, love still wins for Carol, Susan, and Ross, (and me, by default) no matter your orientation.
ON CREATIVITY, TRANSFORMATION & PURPOSE
Your journey has taken a deeply spiritual turn in recent years. How did that shift happen, and what has it revealed to you?
It has shifted in the most beautiful way, yes! Nearly ten years ago, after making documentaries and producing global events for a small group of healers who don’t call themselves healers, one (a Canadian resident in the Toronto area, no less!) tapped me on my first eye. I fell back into the most spectacular state of bliss that had no words, just bliss. My only awareness was that my hands were independently dancing above me as I lay on the floor. When I rose from the second round of this blissful state (some would call this a kundalini awakening, but I still have no words for it), people there commented that my hands were emanating light. I was shy. I’d not asked for nor wanted this, and I returned all attention to Abdy, the healer whose event it was.
The next day, my hands danced me awake. I felt nothing but bliss and watched them curiously with no agenda. I knew it was Source Energy because I could feel well-being/bliss to help and love as the energy poured through. After weeks of this, I called Abdy, and he counseled me to follow and watch, and so I did as they seemed to reach out to help others, and I could sense what was happening. Eventually, Abdy invited me to see what would happen if I joined him on a retreat with 54 other healers and helpers at his finca in the jungle of Costa Rica. There, I was encouraged to take on the gift of “the dancing hands,” as he called it, and try it out on others. Soon, not only were my hands dancing, but my whole body. I went from working 1:1 to 1 to large groups at once. I began to see the miraculous shifts right in front of me. Bones mended. Pain diminished. Tumors disappeared. Sometimes, my hands opened the gifts of others wider—someone could intuitively channel wisdom for another or have insights into the right direction, a new job, or relationships. There is so much more, and you can find many, many testimonials on my janesibbett.com website, but suffice it to say, I had long been witness to the miraculous every day when I was helping the other healers, but when it happened to me, I was first so humbled, but then grateful to be awakened to a deeper purpose of how to share Source/Creator/God/Goddess/Holy Spirit’s Love.
It’s not that everything in my daily life is smooth or divinely delicious because I am woefully human. But as soon as my hands lift, I am aligned. I am in Love. And I am grateful.
Jane thank you for sharing, yes, I’m going to say it, your truth. I’m grateful to have learned more from you, and I’m positive others will too.
