Life sometimes has its way of throwing you a curve ball out of nowhere. One-minute things are running like a well-oiled machine and the next minute it comes to a grinding halt. And yet, it’s what you do in those moments that can be vital to your overall health and well-being. Trust me on this one.

Over the past few months my ninety-year-old mother’s health has taken a turn for the worst. In and out of the hospital, and now back again. As I share the responsibility of her care with my siblings, it has tugged me in and out of what feels like the abyss. Constant vigilance and advocacy on my mother’s behalf have created an environment of chaos that I’m not familiar with. I’ve had really challenging moments throughout my life but this one, this one is hard. 

Here are all the things that have crept into my life, and I don’t like it. Sleepless nights, poor eating habits, cranky most of the time, short tempered, no time for exercise, teeth clenching while I sleep, brain fog, and a plethora of other things I can’t even explain.

While dealing with all this, I can’t help but think of all the ramifications it has on my family, husband, friends, and me for that matter. I find myself thinking of things like “DIVORCE,” – seriously! I sure wouldn’t want to be around me – this Tasmanian devil with a short fuse. I keep thinking that my friends are going to abandon me because I have no time to hang out with them. I’m thinking that all my teeth are going to fall out because of this new annoying habit of clenching my teeth. 

So, who have I turned to stop me from going down this rabbit hole?

ME!

I put my coaching hat on, as I’ve done for so many of my clients. I’ve found a quiet space and opened my toolbox to guide me in the right direction, away from that rabbit hole.

To start, I know that my husband won’t divorce me, or my friends won’t abandon me because deep down I know they have my back. My teeth falling out, however, might if I don’t start wearing my night guard.

What I do know is that communicating with the people around me and advocating for myself is the key to navigating through a difficult time of chaos. Asking for help, which can be difficult for some people, is “Key.” I know this has been a game changer for me. 

Letting friends and family know where they can help to lighten the load can take a huge burden off your shoulders. Things like getting your partner to help meal prep so you can stay on track with nutrition, getting a friend to swing by to take the dog for a walk, or creating and sticking to a night ritual to ensure a good night’s sleep can really be beneficial. 

From there you can find pockets of time where you can insert selfcare. Avoid the temptation of popping on your phone and hanging out on social media. Instead, use those pockets of time to do things like breathwork, yoga, go for a run, lift weights, take your shoes off and go for a walk barefoot, have a message, or sit and read a few chapters from a good book.  

Don’t let guilt or distractions rob you from those moments that will support you. Lean into things that quiet the mind, leave you with good energy and positive thoughts.

There is light after the chaos.