Muscles bulging, tendons straining, sweat glistening, teeth gritted against the exertion, and physical prowess on full display – we have always idolized strength. From legends of ancient heroes spanning centuries and crossing cultures to the modern tales of superheroes and “chosen one” characters, we have long been an audience to stories of great power. Their marble sculptures and oil-rendered bodies fill our museums; their adventures fill many pages and silver screens.
We gather every two years to watch some of the strongest people in the world compete on an international stage. We praise resilience in difficult circumstances, murmuring appreciatively how “strong” the enduring person is being. We cheer for a comeback story and an underdog returning stronger than ever. It doesn’t matter if the strength we witness is physical, mental, emotional, or a combination of all three – we want to witness all of it.
We crave strength, pursuing it endlessly. Physical health has been reframed in our psyche not as getting fit but getting strong. Mental fortitude and commitment to our goals and values requires a strength of character. Vulnerability and honesty, too, are displays of strength and courage; connecting deeply with one another and speaking our minds is a difficult thing for many of us.
But as women, we are told that there is a “right” kind of strength to embody.
The kind that appears in our softness and our ability to love someone despite their faults.
The kind that keeps our emotions from rising to the surface.
The kind that whispers.
These are all powerful things. They each have steel at their core. And yet, they are not the only forms of strength that we can embody.
We can build the sort of strength that doesn’t apologize for taking up space, for sharing opinions, or for being confident and assertive. The sort of strength that doesn’t need permission to exist. The sort of strength that owns how incredible our bodies are in every shape and size, with their ability to grow, nourish, and bring forth life. And yes, even the sort of strength that makes people stop and stare at the muscle definition in our arms or the toned planes of our legs, wondering what sort of goddess bootcamp we’ve been attending.
There is no form of strength that is more “correct” than another. There is just strength, and however you most wish to build it. This is how you connect with your ultimate power.
If you dream of your voice being strong enough not to shake when you say how you feel, build your confidence in how you express yourself. Write down your feelings and shout them at the blue expanse of the sky (or the white of your bedroom ceiling) until that lump in your throat disappears. Then shout them again.
If you want to stand up for yourself and be your own advocate, create boundaries and stick to them. Start small and tell the barista that you actually wanted oat milk, or the hairdresser that they’ve left the right side too long. Then, practice with the harder things until they feel easy.
If you want to be Miss Universe, go for it! Build the body that the marble sculptures are modelled from out of your own muscle and sinew. Lift heavy and dream big.
You already have so much strength within you. It is yours to sculpt as you see fit.
After all, we are only told how we should curb our strength by the people who are frightened of how strong we might truly become.
