The minute I stopped believing these three things was the exact moment I took control of my own life. It was when I reclaimed my power and refused to buy in to the myths I had been sold long ago. When I finally said, “Enough.”
The truth is, we all tell ourselves stories. About the world we live in, the society around us, the rules and the expectations that guide us—even about who we are and what we are capable of achieving. But these stories, whether passed along by others or created by us alone, limit us.
They show us the boundaries of possibility. They restrict our impulses and curb our courage. They insist that we exist only within their confines.
And yet: they are only as strong as our belief in them.
Myth #1: Failure is rare and shameful.
Failure is a joyous thing! Not only does it mean that you have boldly attempted something new, it also means you have the opportunity to learn and improve. If we all gave up on the things we weren’t immediately good at, humans would never have learned to walk (much less ride bicycles, sail boats, or fly airplanes).
It’s natural to want to excel at new skills straightaway. But to only ever do what comes easily is to deny ourselves the thrill that comes after we have struggled.
When we push ourselves and work harder to get better, we gain something invaluable: experience. The person who has tried to draw a hundred faces has honed their artistic ability more than the person who has drawn one good face. We learn by doing, over and over.
Trial and error are a fact of life. Once you accept that, there is so much freedom to be found. Try anything. Try everything! It makes no difference if you are good at it if it brings you joy. When you can delight in failing, you will be free from the fear of it.
Also, shame is only how you feel about yourself. Everyone has failed at something before. If you don’t judge others for trying something new, allow yourself the same grace.
Myth #2: Success is narrowly defined.
Success has as many definitions as there are people in the world. To some, it’s a sprawling mansion and luxury vehicles. To others, it’s a large family and a happy marriage. Success might even be a small cottage with chickens and a garden and fresh bread baking in the oven. But in all cases, we choose how we wish to define it for ourselves.
The sooner we release ourselves from chasing the dream we’ve been told we should pursue in favour of the one we actually desire, the sooner we find our version of success. And when our values are aligned with our ambitions, it’s easier to remember what we’re working toward.
Be courageous in the pursuit of your wildest dreams. Break the norms and approach situations with absolute conviction. Try tactics that seem crazy and bizarre but might just work. If these are the goals that are guiding you forward, why would you not give them everything you have?
There is no reward for taking the well-trodden path—it is carving out your own trail, marking your own maps, and getting lost and found again that elicits joy.
Myth #3: To be taken seriously, you have to take yourself seriously.
Hear me out.
Believing in yourself and what you do is essential. Even when you’re starting a small business that feels more like a hobby than anything else, talk about it with confidence. Take pride in what you do.
And/but/also, don’t feel like you have to be deeply serious for people to respect you and what you’re doing. Be silly! Have fun! Tell everyone about the things that excite you and the mistakes you’ve made and how happy you are to be here!
When we get too caught up in presenting the perfect version of ourselves, we lose out on so much of what life has to offer. We complicate things for ourselves and become closed-off and aloof when we try too hard to control the narrative. Real, genuine connection between people comes from vulnerability and allowing others to see the whole of who we are: warts and all.
Releasing these myths is a paradigm shift. It’s a permission slip to be unapologetically yourself. It resets your mentality to one of freedom, not fear. The world seems suddenly wide open, full of adventure and opportunities to explore.
The next step is up to you.
