What is the “EGO” anyways?
The ego, by definition, is the conscious, thinking part of your personality – the “I” or sense of self that navigates reality, manages emotions, and distinguishes you from others.
The EGO acts as a mediator between the “Id” and “Superego”. The Id (Impulsive Drives) which is the unconscious primal desires that seeks immediate gratification, avoiding pain, satisfying urgent desires, such as, hunger, thirst, warmth, and sexual or aggressive urges, while the Superego (Moral Compass) represents the ethical component that internalizes ideals aiming for perfection and moral behavior.
As Eckhart Tolle, a best-selling author on mindfulness and living in the present moment, describes the ego as a false mind-constructed sense of self, rooted in identification with thoughts, possessions, social status operating in the past or future.
In short, your EGO runs the show, feeding you information and telling you what to do and what not to do. That leads me to the next point. The person whom we have the most dialogue with is ourselves “Our Ego”, and studies have shown that it’s approximately 300-1,000 words per minute. That’s a lot of words!
Now, I’m not an expert about “EGO” but I can say I am an expert at my own self talk and it hasn’t always served me well! I have also come to understand, that the words we feed our ego make a big difference how we navigate through life.
When my positive self-talk mode is on, my ego is truly in balance. My confidence soars leaving me self-assured, willing to take risks and navigate challenges. I feel motivated and persevere, achieving goals and crushing it! I feel resilient with my armor on, adapting to my environment able to recover from setbacks like it’s a piece of cake! I’m the driver in charge, no one in the front seat but me. I’m a badass, kickass, and lady boss all wrapped in one!
BUT, from time to time, when the negative self-talk creeps in, usually due to a major event like a family conflict or some sort of worldly event, my ego becomes unbalanced and it’s a whole different story all together. Defensive behavior sets in and my ego becomes fragile, insecure and needing constant approval. I start comparing myself to others leaving me with feelings of inferiority, doubt and constant dissatisfaction. Add to the mix a little bit of anxiety and I’m left in a state of emotional paralysis. At this stage I have just taken the back seat.
So, how do I manage between the two?
Becoming more “Mindful” has been the turning point for me.
In doing so, I have become more cognizant of my triggers and more deliberate and kinder with my thoughts navigating around conflict, and impart, have changed the tone of my inner dialogue. It’s a work in progress and needs constant monitoring but minimizing negative self-talk from “you can’t or you’re not” to “I’ll try and I am” doesn’t give your ego a chance for unnecessary drama.
I figure if we’re going to be talking to ourselves at 1,000 words per minute anyways, we might as well say something nice to ourselves like the badass, kickass boss that we are of our own lives. And I know our EGO will thank us.
Cheers!
